If you would like to listen to a video I made for the viewers of Viking Cruises T.V. about learning to be with our feelings and how to process them, please click on the link below.
We fear chemical and environmental toxins. However, an overload of emotional toxins in our bodies may do even more damage to our health. We may feel helpless about our ability to control our polluted air and rivers, but we can control the amount of emotional blockages and unresolved angst that can suffocate and overwhelm our body. Many don't realize the impact that our emotions can have on our physical health.
Pain has an emotional component. If you hurt emotionally there is a good chance you may hurt physically. So focusing on improving your emotional environment from the inside can create a healthier mind/body. Once we are able to resolve things like inner conflict, guilt, shame, anger, or fear and neutralize the root cause many people experience a significant decrease in pain. In some cases it may completely disappear.
I can help you create a home inside yourself that makes you feel powerful, safe, supported and loved. When you can learn to do this your body will respond with feelings of wellness and calm.
Being unhappy takes no effort. Our bodies tend to gravitate toward it so easily that if we don't learn to stay mindful about creating emotional wellness, happiness may occasionally visit, but it is unhappinesss that will become a permanent resident.
Helping people create greater emotional health and well being is what I love most about change work. Sometimes this involves helping someone change deeply rooted, limiting or erroneous beliefs about themselves and their past.
One of the most important things hypnosis can be used for is to help people change their beliefs. I always say, be careful what you believe in because your beliefs create your life. So why is it that even when you believe you deserve good things, life is not giving them to you? Consciously you may feel you are worthy of them, however, this might not be what you subconsciously believe.
Emotional Wellness begins by examining our core beliefs.
Much misery and drama in our life can come from the core belief, "I am not good enough". These beliefs define who we think we are at the deepest level and affect who we become as parents, spouses, friends and human beings. Negative beliefs usually get their start in early childhood and once created, manifest in visible and invisible ways. When we make the decision to dig deep, acknowledge and transform these into more empowering beliefs we become more of what we want, and we begin to align our deepest beliefs about ourselves with our dreams.
Hypnosis can help you replace or change beliefs that keep you stuck in anger, fear or guilt with ones that move you forward with confidence, greater self-esteem, courage and wisdom.
Consciously we may not want to stay stuck in sadness, worry, irritation or guilt, but our subconscious mind which is essentially the boss, likes the familiar a lot. It isn't all that interested in helping us get rid of our anger or guilt because those emotions are what it knows.
If feelings of anger or loss are what we constantly experience then the neural networks and receptor sites created by these emotions can become larger, more dominant and oh, so familiar to our bodies. So, even though we may not consciously like feeling angry and in grief all the time, we can unconsciously become dependent to feeling that way.
Hypnosis can help you rewire your brain and create new empowering neural networks by helping you practice other positive emotions like happiness and peace. So that these can start feeling more familiar to your mind/body.
Higher emotions such as peace and gratitude can speed our healing, while anger and guilt can keep us sick and in pain. Forgiveness work is an important means for the body to release negative emotions and a powerful pathway to health and happiness. During hypnosis forgiveness work can help you release emotional, energetic blocks and burdens, and feel lighter, free to move forward less burdened and angry.
The heart is at the center of our physical, mental and emotional well-being. A closed heart cuts off a huge and powerful energy source from protecting and maintaining health. During sessions I have seen what happens when clients are able to open their heart center; energy flows, unwanted burdens and pain are released. Great emotional and physical healing can come from allowing our heart to open to self-compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love, non-judgement, and acceptance.
Change can be a complex, many layered goal because it involves neutralizing the subconscious motivation which keeps any habit strong, despite our conscious desire to get rid of it or change it. The key to real, lasting change lies in our subconscious mind. This is why using our conscious mind to break a habit often leaves us feeling frustrated and defeated.
Changing a behavior is a complex challenge because it involves weakening the very strong neural network representing the habit and creating and strengthening the new behavior or habit. I teach clients techniques they can use to interrupt the brain's automatic, conditioned impulse to give into whatever it is that they do too much, with negative consequences.
Habits often begin with a trigger, an impactful, negative event, and our body's best intention to cope with it. In order to feel better we start to distract our bad feelings with something. That something brings a temporary reward that makes us feel better. However, with time we realize that we need more of that something to receive the same reward. And finally, that something ends up becoming the dominant force in our life. When we decide we want to stop, our body is so hardwired around it, it will not accept change.
We already know how easily we can start to overdo things; biting our ur nails too much, worrying too much, eating too much, shopping too much and even loving the wrong person too much.
Emotional habits are tricky to understand, but understanding how they are created is key to emotional well-being.
Our habits and fears hold hands. We have to continually communicate with our subconscious mind and update old tired, limiting programs. There could be misunderstandings and erroneous beliefs formed in the past that need to be corrected. Hypnosis is a way of providing constant insight and empowerment to our body. Hypnosis clears channels of communication at the deepest level. As experienced adults we have valuable information that we fail to pass on to the inner child within us who lacked the maturity and understanding to assimilate a situation and desperately needs clarity in order to be at peace.
Hypnosis work may bring insight and healing to events in our past, potentially disabling and removing old destructive triggers.
Events in our life involve remembered emotions; some good, some neutral and some ugly. Addictions to emotions or behaviors are often anchored by painful emotional recordings of an event. Sometimes our work may involve around neutralizing an emotional track that is causing you to feel too much pain, consciously and unconsciously. By revisiting the first time it was created can help me help you neutralize the memory so that the hurtful emotions the body remembers and keeps replaying over and over are stripped of their negative charge. You remember what happened, but there is no more pain inbedded in that memory.
Often our inability to succeed in breaking a habit lies in the past. Hypnosis can help you neutralize old programming and through techniques such as Regression re-visit events in the past that planted seeds in your mind that grew into beliefs about, for example, not being good enough. In hypnosis we can help the child you were re-examine painful events from the point of view of the much wiser adult you.
Healthy communication is the basis for healthy relationship with others. But what about the relationship we have with all the different parts of ourselves that may exist within us? The playful self, the wise self, the fearful self, the inner child? All the parts within us want the best for us, but often have conflicting agendas. They all have an opinion about how we should live our life and can send conflicting messages to our body.
Internal conflict of any kind can also keep us from moving forward. Although a part of us may want to give up the too-much behavior there is always a part or parts that, may not share our goal for many reasons. Parts Therapy during hypnosis can help clients find out why there is disagreement and then negotiate a compromise so "all" the parts can happily live with. This tool may help change our perception of the past and remove fears that were not based on reality. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can choose to view it through the eyes of understanding, experience and wisdom. When we do that we change the emotional charge surrounding what happened. This can have a huge, positive impact in how we see ourselves and our world.
At what point does even a good habit outlive its' usefulness and become a not so good habit that feels and looks likes a too much behavior. I teach clients to develop Mindful Awareness, that voice in your head that gently makes you question and explore your behavior or thinking without judgement; when something feels off, like you are overdoing the thinking or doing...Once the answers appear, I can help with the work involved in processing and clearing the root causes.
Why is it that two people who are exposed to the same traumatic event can react so differently? One can develop a phobia and the other can go through life without being negatively influenced by it. An event itself is meaningless; it is our mind that gives it meaning. Seeds can get planted in our subconscious mind in early infancy and childhood, perhaps as early as our time in the womb or even, as some believe, a past life.
Anxiety, fear and the urge to imagine bad case scenarios can be become a learned response. With the right trigger your heart can start racing and your breath becomes erratic. Your body is in a state of panic before the mind can talk you out of it. You worry so often that it becomes a habit, and the emotion of fear, even though you may not like it, becomes so at home in your body that it decides to stay permanently. That's what happened to me.
I started to worry in my early twenties, and after that there was always something going on that triggered unease and when there wasn't I would imagine it. All I would have to do was look at an article on identity theft and I felt panic. Even without reading it simply imagining the possibility of becoming a victim was alone to make my stomach twist in knots.
So I can empathize with anyone who has a fearful personality or a phobia. The good news is that if I could kick the habit I can help you to do the same. Cognitive Behavioral Hypnotherapy is an approach that has been proven to work well with many people, but there are many other effective techniques in my toolbox; one that fits just about every kind of worrier or phobic.
Some fears make no sense to our logical mind, but to the protective subconscious they make perfect sense.
The wonderful thing about many of the techniques I use, such as Regression, EFT, NLP and Cognitive Behavioral Hypntherapy is that they can help clients find the root of the problem and neutralize it. Often a simple change in perspective (reframe) is all that is needed. Other times we may have to find the initial event that contributed to the problem and go from there.
I work very closely with you to find out which tool or combination of tools will work best given your beliefs, personality and personal preferences. You will always be in control of what we do in the session.
GRIEF & REGRET
Grief born from loss is meant to be honoured, processed and understood, not ignored, denied or feared.
It´s important to engage with our sorrow, but not so much that we become it. The challenge is to learn to feel our grief mindfully, lovingly, respectfully and compassionately. We have to give ourselves the permission and time to do this.
But how much time is too much time? When should our commitment to Grief end, if ever? This is a question with no easy answer. Yet, one thing is certain: for the sake of our health and indeed, a productive journey as humans, at some point it is best that we allow ourselves to let it go. If we do not, Grief can become a blindfold that makes us lose sight of everything else that is not loss. Releasing grief at the appropriate time, makes room in our life for the potential and possibility of other experiences, other emotions,
What may surprise some of you is that emotions can become habit-forming, Loss, grief, anger and fear. Over a long period of time our body can become so used to crying over loss, that It may get to the point where it will not want to stop mourning, despite a conscious desire to be happy. If you cultivate any emotional state for too long and too hard, you imprison yourself inside it,
This is hard to accept for many because seriously, why would we consciously want to trap ourselves inside our grief and make it our
go-to feeling? However, we can unintentionally hard wire grief in our mind-body. The brain learns by repetition and when grief is experienced day in and day out over many years, it may become the emotion of choice at a subconscious level. This is why it is so essential that we learn to process our grief, allow it to flow in and out...so it does not become stuck in our body. So that we can consciously choose to feel grief or not, without our body automatically going there without our consent.
I teach clients about mindful grieving. observing their sorrow, with no judgment and total acceptance, so that they do not become absorbed by it. So that loss, although a part of your experience, does not define you or govern your life or impede you from feeling joy.
If your higher self, your intuitive self is telling you that it is time to move on and put your sense of loss to rest, but you are not sure how, or your body seems to be stuck in bereavement, please contact me.
One of the things that most of my clients struggle with is Regret. It often seems to lie at the heart of physical, mental and emotional pain. It is the could have, should have, of behaviours, decisions, attitudes and beliefs. Regret invites guilt, anger, fear, frustration, blame, sadness; these emotions are sometimes directed at others, but mostly, I have found, at ourselves.
I believe that part of processing and healing regret is through self-forgiveness. And depending on the nature and size of our regrets sometimes self-forgiveness may have to be a daily, ongoing thing. Forgiving others is a challenging goal, but forgiving ourselves can sometimes feel like a hopeless challenge. In my work I help clients understand that forgiving ourselves demands an overwhelming amount of love and compassion. A session may involve encouraging the client to explore and find these resources. Opening a closed heart is essential.
I help clients understand that to regret anything we did or did not do is to disrespect ourselves, the imperfect nature of our humanity and the unique challenges of our present moment. I help them realise that we have to make allowances for the fact that our mindset changes, and who we are, is in flux from moment to moment, year to year. The you, five minutes ago, may not make the same choices two hours from now.
We are not born masters; we stumble, fall, disappoint and blunder our way through life and then blame ourselves for it. Potentially there could be enough material to fill an infinite number of volumes on Regret. But as I teach my clients, self-recrimination may seem like the go-to emotion, but we can change our mindset. I help people accept their humble imperfection and make peace with the what is and what was.
Self-Compassion fuels Acceptance, Self-Forgiveness brings Peace; Acceptance and Peace grow Wisdom.
If you are struggling to make peace with your past, consider booking a consultation with me.
If you would like to watch a video on Viking TV about What You Never Knew You Wanted to Know about Negative Thinking, click on the link below.
Thought is the grand creator. We create our thoughts and our thoughts create us. The simple, yet complex truth is that unhealthy thinking creates an unhealthy reality and healthy thinking creates its opposite.
Who you become emotionally depends on the content and quality of thoughts you feed your brain. Based on this the brain starts to produce chemicals, neurons, hormones and proteins that reflect what's going on in your mind.
Thinking about all those good things that could happen even when things look bad does not come naturally to us because our brains were created to keep us alive. Thinking optimistically or about funny things didn't help keep us alive thousands of years ago.
In hypnosis I encourage my clients to start practicing the best-case scenario in their head. Healthy thinking is about mentally rehearsing dialogue that is going to help you become the best version of yourself.
What you think is not automatically true. Believing your thoughts is only a good thing if they make us feel good. Unfortunately, believing a bad thought is easier than believing a good one. The brain has a built in bias towards negative thinking. In our ancestors day this was a good thing, however, in today's world our tendency towards negativity leaves us feeling powerless and less disposed to thinking that make us feel powerful.
The reality for most of us is that creating and believing bad thoughts seems effortless while creating and believing good ones is a skill we have to learn. A wonderful book I recommend about learning how to think in healthier ways is Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson.
Being born beautiful is nothing compared to coming into this world with a pretty brain. People who are lucky enough to be born naturally optimistic and hopeful produce thoughts that are naturally reassuring and comforting. But if you aren't one of those, don't worry because our thinking, just like our face, can be treated to a make-over. This is where I come in. I help clients learn to change how they think, what they think and why they think a certain way. Healthy thinking starts with awareness, intention and choice.
In addition to Hypnosis, Mindfulness can help us manage physical and emotional pain as well as the daily ups and downs of life. According to Jon Kabat Zinn in his book, Full Catastrophe Living, it's about learning to pay attention, to observe what we are thinking, acting and feeling, in a non-judgmental, compassionate, accepting way. It's not about disciplining our behavior or controlling it or judging ourselves because we are not more of this and less of that. It's simply observing who we are being at any given moment. When we are mindful we are less apt to think, feel and behave automatically and follow the shortcuts our brain has become used to over time. So much of who we are becomes a conditioned response, a habit.
Living life mindlessly might seem easier but it is infinitely more painful. On the other hand, Mindfulness may require more effort at the beginning, but with practice it can become a way of being that serves to lessen suffering and unhappiness. When we are mindful we become observers who make choices instead of indulging in behaviors, thoughts and feelings that are never questioned. Mindful living makes change a more realistic possibility.
When you allow yourself to be more mindful you become more curious than judgmental. You start observing yourself worry from a detached perspective. This detachment makes room for desired change to take hold and grow.
Mindfulness can be used very effectively to help manage pain. Being mindful of your pain reminds you that your thoughts about the pain and the sensation itself are two different things. It teaches you to accept rather than struggle against your pain, because strangely enough, surrendering to it may improve how you experience discomfort in your body.
During hypnosis you can explore Mindfulness and grasp its' potential. Contact me if you are interested in learning about Mindfulness.
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL HYPNOTHERAPY
As a trained and certified Cognitive Behavioral Hypnotherapist I am able to offer a no-nonsense, evidenced-based approach that combines Hypnosis with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Evidence shows that using hypnosis in addition to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy only increases the chances of a positive result.
Research supports the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for treating Anxiety in Social Situations, The fear of being in social situations whether these are work related or social gatherings is a very common one for many people. Fears, Insomnia, stress, overworrying about performing well, wanting to kick a bad habit or just a desire to feel more confident and better about yourself are all reasons to give it a try.
Many people do not have faith in their own capabilites to handle difficult situations. Often they overestimate the threat and probability of something bad happening while underestimating their ability to cope when it does. Or they develop ways to cope with their fears and worries that may help them feel "safe", but ultimately end up doing more harm than good. They may feel better in the short term, but they don't necessarily get better in the long run. I combine CBT techniques with hypnosis to help clients build resilience and develop effective, coping skills-more empowering ways of thinking, feeling and behaving so that they get better.
Educating my clients is a big part of what I do. Teaching them about specific ways to improve the way they talk to themselves and how they act is at the center of positve change. Hypno-CBT® focuses on helping individuals develop strong coping skills so they can deal with life's challenges, big and small in a healthier way.
Self-Hypnosis, Mental rehearsal, Imaginal Exposure Therapy, Relaxation Training , Desensitisation, Stress Innoculation Training, Problem Solving Therapy, Assertiveness Training, Acceptance and Mindfulness Training, are among the techniques and approaches used. Contact me for more information.
*Since I am not a licensed psychologist this option is not available if you live in states such as Florida which prohibits my using this tehcnique. I will offer it only where it is allowed by law.
The Emotional Freedom Technique is a simple and very effective mind self help tool developed by Gary Craig. It helps process stress and trauma in your body and neutralize emotional memories that keep you from becoming your best self. It involves tapping gently on acupressure meridian points and the use of cognitive and exposure therapy to process anxiety and promote well-being.
In one or two sessions I can teach you how to use this powerful technique to empower your life and radically improve how you feel about your past, about your present and your future. My clients have experienced amazing results using EFT for anxiety, stress, pain, and any kind of fear.
During this time it has never been more important to keep our immune system strong. Stress reduction techniques such as Eco-meditation (created by Dawson Church) and Clinical EFT have been shown to help lower the hormones of stress such as cortisol and increase levels of immunoglobins, keeping your immune system working better.
Contact me for a session that can easily be done using Zoom or Skype.
For more information and research on EFT/Tapping go to www.eftuniverse.com